there are books to be written on cities. oslo is no exception. however this is an article. the concise version is going to be reflected by a recent new years trip by tom guilmard.
first impressions , everyone arrives into oslo via central station. its harsh in every sense. run down architecture, the homeless living outside in -20, crime. if you escape the clutches of the forgotten then the city is a playground for the liberal individual.
everything is expensive. its was always going to be a survival of the monatary fittest. 16 heiniken bottles cost £40 if anyone wished to percieve a perspective.
the city has been transformed four days ago by the recent refurnishing. it turns out the gods didnt favour the hard icy tarmac and snow was now on the menu. all of oslos pedestrian assistance bars were now gourmet untouched handrails. for shredding. drops and gaps suddenly appeared out of the familiar architecture. a new light was certainly shining out of the winter darkness, and tom wasnt even here to snowboard.
inevitably a call was recieved next morning. the message was decrypted and our mission was to make it to the local mountain, Tryvann. Acessible by city train. (T-bann). Blue Skies Dominated. about 3/4 of the way the train ceased its journey. we joined a hoard of families and punters armed with sleds and cross country ski's. it had also become apaprant that we would have to wait a life time for replacement bus services. hitching was in order. new luck and a very hard half an hr of walking later a mode of transport apeared that guided us to our final destination. bus. the park was unpretencious and full of fun. kickers of all sizes, rails to suit everyone. just for fun. landing happy hips with smiles already firmly placed on our cheeks. we maybe also didnt pay for this luxuray. there is a small gap which you can slip through to bunk the lift. that money was later spent wisely on some waffles and paint supplies. nothing front cover worthy went down but progression was in the air.
in the oppinion of the immediate masses tryvann is under rated. it has all its bases covered. the convenience of it is incredible ... when public transport is punctual.
after a few brushes with death and a "last run" call is made by and unknown IDIOT. it was time to leave. we accompanied two locals and two not so local australians back down . the norwegian shredders car had 4 wheels. thats a fact. back in the city we dropped off one of the sardines from the back seat of the car. we were now three positioned near the back of the car.
a bout of road rage came across the young driver. he furiously used his horn in order for another driver to back up. once the situation was resolved he proceeded to flail his arm around with his middle finger clearly at attention. a situation was developing. fact. not with the driver of the other car but the car infront unloaded two plain clothes policemen. as i reached for my seatbelt, high as a kite i soon realised it was too late.
few words were exchanged in the forgotten nordic language. they waved us on. we were sure to make a right as soon as possible to remove ourselves from this situation. liqour store.
as a side note, there is authority everywhere in norway. although it seems that they are reluctant to follow through with with any force. their presence is enough . a society of fear, with no force. to inforce. perfect...
new years eve dawned on us. it was decided in the icy conditions that skating was a priority. 3 places exist of indoor skating in the vacinity of the city. hausmania, haugensteua, bekkesteua. all three would be explored by the end of the trip. there was a slim chance of skating at hausmania but it was closest and an essential on the anti culture list. tom wasnt informed of this chance as its important to keep moral at a high when trying to skate in -20 conditions. hausmania is an indescribable place. the complex boasts many cultural suprises. on this visit i just showed tom some art, the motorcycle garage, the music stage, the theater, the inside of a few of the buildings (which all the walls are leaking with emotions, paint and pen scrawl emotion of the moment on all the walls. there is a feeling of intense curiosity and insanity). from art to poems to pleas ....the thrid door we open we hear voices and travel cautiously towards them. when we encounter the man and woman the man demands in norwegian to use my phone. i give it to him and ask the girl if we can skate. there is a bit of a communication break down and the point of why we are there is completely lost. tom stares in awe at the walls. i keep conversation flowing nicely. even 1 minute spent in the house is an experience. i once spent 4 hours with a local in his room analysing strange artifacts and getting loose. diaries of that to follow ....
the skatepark at hausmania is under lock and key until trust is gained. its good to keep it that way.
we end up heading out by train to haugensteua where i assure tom we can skate. (he needs his fix) sure enough after wondering through a maze of snowcovered streets in rural oslo we arive at the giant blue tent and hear the familliar noise of skating. happiness strikes. although quickly taken away when the realisation that the heating has been locked for some unknown reason. survival skating commences. the cold doesnt seem to bother t. i have to defrost my feet quite litteraly several times. my fashionable ballet shoes yet again cease to be appropriate. tom is shredding as usual and i manage a sketchy krooks down a rail there. tom calls it and we are out of there before you know it. back at the train station i start talking to an old man. who comments on our foolish choice of dress. he is going to visit a friend in a mental institution for new year. we are heading up to a local hill, packed with locals, lots of fireworks, champagne, friends. a girl that looks like audrina from this hills tells t that he has got nice teeth whilst he was double snussing. we from that moment coin the phrase "living the dream"
ALL PHOTOS LIAM TEAL COPYRIGHT INNIT
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